| In the end... |
[16 Mar 2009|08:08pm] |
we all come back to beginning.
I haven't been here in so long.
I miss it now and again.
I think it's time to start again.
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[03 Jul 2007|01:12am] |
new account.
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) organicbowl
i've added some of you already.
feel free to do the same.
i'll be most obliged.
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| By the way... |
[02 Jul 2007|09:29pm] |
i'm considering creating a new blog.
this one is old.
i'm feeling sorta confined in it.
i'll alert everyone if i do.
ok?
peace.
-corina.
Powered by ScribeFire.
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| Eating My Brain |
[02 Jul 2007|09:24pm] |
In 672 hours you'll be on a plane out of my life. Stewardesses will serve you peanuts and drinks, while you inhale that freshly pressurized air. Your thoughts will swim throughout the long flight to California, until you finally touch ground and feel that soft sun in your hair.
I hope you'll be smiling, even without me there to bear witness.
Meanwhile, I'll be here- standing in the rain and inhaling the fresh scent of sweet trees covered in condensation and wondering if that last goodbye meant as much to you as it did to me.
These are the things I think about in the back of my mind.
In those long days and months passing you'll be smoking good herb and creating memories never forgotten- good solid memories with family and friends.
You'll spend your days with your skin absorbing the salty ocean and gasping for air after too many minutes under a wave of what could be forever.
Afterwards, you'll spend your nights surrounded by the glow of city lights and loud music blared out from one of those fierce venues you always used to talk about.
I'll recreate that concept with headphones that muffle algebra equations. My head spinning as I doodle on the edges of term papers as though they should be pages for my scrapbook back home. These moments will be attempts to drown out that which I rather not ponder. I'll pencil in a long night of ingesting toxins just to forget about the idea, that one of them might make you feel better than me.
These are the things I think about in the back of my mind.
In these days present I'll sit here typing away furiously and contemplating what it will be like, when you get back. I'll be here in my empty makeshift house, couchless, thirsty, and staring out the window at all the cars filled with wandering souls. Perhaps, one day I will be one of those souls. Or perhaps one day we will wander together, again.
These are the things I think about in the back of my mind.
_ _ _ _ _
x-posted.
tell me what you think.
bless up.
corina.
p.s. scribefire formatted it all funny. so i had to write manually. grar.
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| in theory.... |
[28 Jun 2007|08:34pm] |
i have a boyfriend for 1 month.
i am single for 3 months.
i have a boyfriend again afterwards.
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[16 Jun 2007|11:50am] |
"And I could be good, and I would - If I knew I was understood
And it'll be great, just wait - Or is it too little too late?"
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[27 Apr 2007|01:33pm] |
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‘Til the day...
We come in doing cartwheels
We all crawl out by ourselves
And your shape on the dance floor
Will have me thinking such filth I’ll gouge my eyes
Australia, The Shins
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[27 Apr 2007|01:30pm] |
Oh, also car for Corina later this summer probably!
Get stoked.
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[13 Apr 2007|05:45pm] |
i assumed they were fucking, but reading/being told about it was a slap in the face.
my dads royally pissed at me.
kaylie gave me a hug, and it broke my heart.
i might not get to go to the lucero concert, because i might not have money.
fuck. fuck. fuck. fuck!!!!
did i mention people suck and i hate my life?
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[08 Apr 2007|10:37am] |
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Ha, okay without trying to sound completely macho and shit...
I've found recently [since I've become single], that I quite easily become annoyed with some of the ways guys go about hitting on me. *sigh* This just fits.
( Knock Em Out, Lily Allen )
P.S. Lily Allen's lyrics are my life lately. Hm... *googly face*
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[08 Apr 2007|10:26am] |
Did I mention my horoscopes have been right on lately? Like whoa.
Sunday, April 8, 2007
Taurus (Apr 20 - May 20)
Your passionate involvement with an emotionally charged issue of great importance may be invisible to others now. Although the smile on your face is visible, they might not understand where it's coming from -- and you are under no obligation to tell your secret. Let your imagination feed your soul and share your thoughts only when you are ready.
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[07 Apr 2007|08:44pm] |
just posted some shit.
yea...
my throat is so dry.
what the shit?
that's just bad news.
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[07 Apr 2007|08:44pm] |
Today as good.
I woke up and did the usual internet routine. I then followed up with cleaning the kitchen and doing laundry. Somewhere in between that I succeeded in a shower and BLT for hunger.
Afterwards, I chilled with Shannon and J-Rad. I love those two.
Shannon introduced me to Lily Allen. I now fucking love her music.
And Jared hooked me up with headphones. Their basstastic!
Anywho…
Tonight I'm not sure, but I have a good feeling.
Chyea!
Also, I know I already posted like 5 billion lyrics BUT these two songs fit so well.
"When you first left me I was wanting more
But you were fucking that girl next door, what cha do that for (what cha do that for)
When you first left me I didn't know what to say
I never been on my own that way, just sat by myself all day
I was so lost back then
But with a little help from my friends
I found a light in the tunnel at the end
Now you're calling me up on the phone
So you can have a little whine and a moan
And it's only because you're feeling alone…"
(Smile, Lily Allen)
"Sometimes I find myself sittin' back and reminiscing
Especially when I have to watch other people kissin'
And I remember when you started callin' me your miss's
All the play fightin', all the flirtatious disses
I'd tell you sad stories about my childhood
I don't why I trusted you but I knew that I could
We'd spend the whole weekend lying in our own dirt
I was just so happy in your boxers and your t-shirt
Dreams, Dreams
Of when we had just started things
Dreams of you and me
It seems, It seems
That I can't shake those memories
I wonder if you have the same dreams too…"
(Littlelist Things, Lily Allen)
P.S. trying to order some goddamn Chinese food right now. Damn phones busy. Fuuuck!
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[07 Apr 2007|08:42pm] |
*sigh* This story goes on and on…
My life has been so upside down and squiggly as of late.
Relationships have got to be some of the most difficult and complex things on the fucking planet. I swear! Note, when I say that I don't just mean romantically. As much has happened or lacked in that department of my life lately, there's so much more too. Relationships with family members and friends have become equally as complicated. *shakes head* I look around, and it all just feels so terribly tragic.
Anywho!
I've been on a music rage lately.
The following are some songs/lyrics that I've lately been able to relate to in this way or another. Mmmhmm.
P.S. haha, had to put "Pretty Girl" first since people have been telling me that song reminds them of me since it came out. Shiiit.
"It's the way that he makes you feel
It's the way that he kisses you
It's the way that he makes you fall in love
She's beautiful as usual with bruises on her ego and her killer instinct tells her to
be aware of evil men"
(Pretty Girl, Sugarcult)
"I'm done being there for others
They have their pain and so do I
Don't need to feel it all over
I try to hold on and you bring me down"
(I'm Done, KoRn)
"And I sang 'holy holy' as he buttoned down his pants
You can laugh
It's kind of funny things you think
at times like these
Like I haven't seen Barbados
So I must get out of this
Yes, I wore a slinky red thing
Does that mean I should spread
For you, your friends your father, Mr. Ed"
(Me and a Gun, Tori Amos)
"I'm on my knees,
but so are you
Unfortunately for the wrong reasons
I keep incessantly believing that you're pure,
but you know it's not true"
(Lust A Prima Vista, The Spill Canvas)
"Sometimes perfection can be
It can be perfect hell
Hours pass, and she still counts the minutes
That I am not there, I swear I didn't mean
For it to feel like this
Like every inch of me is bruised, bruised"
(Bruised, Jack's Mannequin)
"There's still a little bit of your taste in my mouth
There's still a little bit of laced with my doubt
It's still a little hard to say what's going on
There's still a little bit of your ghost, your weakness
There's still a little bit of your face I haven't kissed
You step a little closer these days
And I see what's going on"
(Cannonball, Damien Rice)
"Now you know my name, you wanna get me high,
You're tryin to get with me and I don't know why
Call me on the phone, you wanna get me high,
Don't remember your name, don't really wanna try"
(You Wanna Get Me High, The Donnas)
"I haven't felt the way I feel today
In so long it's hard for me to specify.
I'm beginning to notice how much this feels
Like a waking limb...pins and needles,
Nice to know you
Good-bye"
(Nice To Know You, Incubus)
"If I could look beyond your face
And photograph your hidden place
Would I find you smiling in the picture?
I don't know what you want
Because you don't know,
so what's the point of asking
You're almost happy
Almost content
But your head hurts"
(Almost Happy, K's Choice)
"Angel, you know it's not the end
We'll always be good friends
The letters have been sent on
So please, you always were so free
You'll see, I promise we'll be
Perfect"
(Perfect, Smashing Pumpkins)
"You expect me to just let you hit it
But will you still respect me if you get it?"
(Promiscuous, Nelly Fertado)
"You're always ahead of the pack
I drag behind
You posses every trait that I lack
By coincidence or by design
You're the monkey I've got on my back
That tells me to shine
You're always ahead of the pack
While I drag behind"
(Drag, Placebo)
"Putting all the clothes, you washed away
As you're folding up the shirts,
you hesitate
Then it goes fast
You think of the past
Suddenly everything has changed"
(Suddenly Everything has Changed, Postal Service)
"Turn out the light
Just say goodnight, to yourself
May I remind you
When you find you, you're all alone is when you've got to be strong"
(Save Yourself, Sense Field)
+
Lover I Don't Have To Love, Bright Eyes
Me vs. Madonna vs. Elvis, Brand New
The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot, Brand New
Ok, well I could use some sleep. Hopefully, tomorrow will be good?
Peace.
--corina chaotic [burnt out]
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[29 Mar 2007|09:37pm] |
a lot has happened this week.
i would divulge more information, if i had the strength. but in short...
-toby broke up with me.
- was a disaster for a few days.
-i went to therapy. a lot was said from my past and present. i too concluded that as the same with toby's reasoning need this time to figure out my own shit.
-yes, i still love him and know to a certain extent he still loves me.
-things will work out.
cinna the poet cd release tomorrow. i'm stoked.
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[24 Mar 2007|08:48am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 melancholy |
] |
I’ve started to forget what feels good.
I can’t quite remember his taste anymore or how he sounds, when he whispers sweet insanities into my ear before we fall asleep in each other’s arms.
It’s been too long, since he’s been gone.
My lacking memory kills me.
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| She Gave Him Words |
[24 Mar 2007|08:46am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 nostalgic |
] |
| [ |
music |
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The Noose, A Perfect Circle |
] |
We’re feeling young and wasted, tired and lost; a little bit more fucked over than the days past. We’re worried that we’ll never find a better way.
I’m remembering, how I once told you we’d make each other’s ways better. I remember saying, “Friends Forever.”
I remember tracing dreams with your back as my canvas and warm skin as my guide to the long promised land- Zion.
Our intentions were made. Our hearts were bound. Our faces plastered for perfection.
--Don’t you remember?
I promised.
We’re still here- different places though. Eternity falls around us like broken stars from wishes that never came true. We’re growing up, 3 inches taller, and a little more jaded each day. Our passions are dieing out as the feeling of lost envelopes what once was the future- our future.
We’re stuck in the mud, saying nothing, but holding everything in. I still remember our unevenly structured dreams and clever inspirations.
…Even to this day, as the rains washes tears down my face and I can’t get my head around you.
I’ll always be here, waiting to rescue you.
--Don’t you remember?
I never break a promise.
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[20 Mar 2007|09:51pm] |
i'm in limbo.
toby semi broke up with me.
i feel hollow.
he promised we'd talk today.
he never called or came over to talk as he said he would.
did i mention i fucking hate my life?
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[03 Mar 2007|02:08pm] |
somedays i just wake up
and fucking hate
myself.
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| Yea, so I hate the day, but.. |
[08 Feb 2007|10:37pm] |
I’m making Valentine’s Day dinner for the boy on Saturday.
Rib-eye with lemon caper sauce
Roasted baby potatoes with thyme and rosemary
Mixed green salad with olives, prosciuto, and parmesan shavings
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